Monday, 15 April 2013

Toilet Talk - The one question that needs to be asked!

A time old question. A debate that spans the world and ignites the great toilet debate. Posteriors poised and four ply ready.
This is the sort of question that requires courage a plenty to ask. And by courage, I mean alcoholic courage. Name your beverage, drink it and ask away.
So what is it, you ask? Are you a scruncher or a folder?
I guess the answer to this lies in the generational gift given to you by your parents. After all, they toilet trained you.
I think what you are, can tell so much about a person.
A folder can be described as a meticulous person, detailed focused, neat, orderly, dedicated and committed. Someone who can take too long to do something (let’s think of the extra time they take on the loo as they fold away).
A scruncher, on the other hand, can be a bit dishevelled, efficient, haphazard in their approach, chaotic at times, but most importantly, resourceful.
Yes, this is a crazy post. But aren’t you the least bit curious?
Maybe this is something that we should declare on our drivers licence. Why not? We have lots of other important information on there, so one more bit won’t matter.
I can see it now. Address. Check. Phone. Check. Date of birth. Check. Folder or Scruncher. Check.
I wonder what the bouncers would say in nightclubs as they checked your ID for entry.
“ID please”. “Sorry, you’re a scruncher, not coming in. Goodbye.”
It would almost be worth me re-living my nightclub days just to see this.
What about when you go to RSL’s and Sports Clubs now? They take your licence and scan it, giving you a wonderful print out of all your personal information. When there’s a queue, that’s how they can divide you!
“Scrunchers to the left, Folders to the right.”
So, do you know what I am yet?
Being in HR, it would be a great question for job application forms. There it is, staring down at your potential company, etched in ink, sitting in your personnel file for years to come. It will almost certainly take discrimination to a new level. The legal world will have their posteriors parted. Pardon the pun.
I know you are going to look at people quite differently. The curiousity inside you will simply be too intense.
Maybe we should all swap. That would be a posterior pandemic. Folders should become scrunchers and scrunchers should become folders. Embrace change, I say!
What about the gender debate. Are there more women folders than men folders? Or does one gender favour one method over another?
Whilst I am on a question roll (another pun), let’s not stop there. Why not ask more?
Do you have a certain sheet limit? That’s right. How many sheets do you use?
I think that question and so much more is for another day. what am I?
I’ll leave that thought with you.

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